Natural Bar Soap
i wore sexy underwear & shaved!
I think I need a pep-talk. Ive been giving myself one plus size sexy underwear while singing and hanging out at a favorite bar and I am feeling better but I am dismayed that I felt sodisappointed and rejected.
I know Im supposed to be witty & entertaining but this blog is my journal and an archive of my journey so you get to hear about my insecurities and disappointments as well. Its hard not to feel a little bit sad when youre sitting home alone wearing your sexiest underwear after your date went home after about 40 minutes.
I know Im being irrational. But tonight my logical and my emotional were at odds and thats when my insecurity crept in & took a firm hold. So after meeting my first date of the night more on that in a sec I went to a nearby friends house to change from my slightly more dressy workfirst meet clothes into my rockin hot dive bar karaoke with a sexy cowboy clothes. Were talking skinny ankle-zip distressed jeans cute shoes & a faux vintage Van Halen 1984 tour t-shirt. And fantastic underwear. Black lace with nude underlay demi cup bra and black lace boy shorts. My ass looked cheap sexy underwear fantastic in the undies and in the jeans. I was feeling good and had turned my nervous energy from earlier into sassy sexy confidence.
We didnt have a set meet time but I had confirmed that we would both be there tonight. I packed an overnight bag because a sexy sleepover was likely given our history and his close proximity to the bar. I was looking forward to his fantastic bed and body and singing. Hes a great singer & I hadnt heard him since the night we met two months ago. I was looking forward to showing off and flirting and at some point having him put his hand at the small of my back and ask me back to his place. I really had imagined how it would go and was full of anticipation and excitement.
I got there around 9:40 and I saw him right away when I walked in. I went & exchanged a hug with the sexy bartender who may or may not read this blog and who is dead sexy then without having seen me P29 went out the side door to smoke. I ordered a drink and set it down next to his at the bar and went to look through the books to see if my theme songs were available. He saw me when he walked in and acknowledged me and returned to his seat. outlet sexy underwear
I took my time finishing my task then cooly walked over Im being cool remember I said hi & we sort of half-hugged and he said something immediately about not feeling well and not staying. He said his stomach was really upset and blamed Jack-in-the-Box. I willingly admit that he didnt look great & he visited the bathroom soon after. I stepped outside to smoke chatted with someone I knew out there and P29 soon followed. He asked me if he could get his jacket thats been living in my front closet for 2 months from me then rather than wholesale sexy underwear later so that he didnt forget. Oooohhhhhheres your hat whats your hurry I said sure walk with me and we walked together to my car.
I told him that I was really sorry that he was feeling sick and said that those sexy underwear online werent the kind of moans that I liked to hear from him. He laughed at that which was good then said it is what it is but it sucks. All I wanted to do was sing. I flirtatiously quipped is that all you wanted to do To which he responded: yeah I have to get up early in the morning he was meeting a former military contact who was going to give him a job recommendation or something. I was all enthusiastic & good for you thats great good luck and we went back inside. He did his song swoon panties dampen yum then came back to me and we chatted plus size cheap underwear some but it was loud and talking wasnt ideal. He said he should at least stay for my first song which sexy underwear suppliers he did but he had his other jacket on by the time I was finished gave me a hug and said he would talk to me soon.
Okay the man is ill. We just buy sexy underwear had red-hot fantastic sex three days ago. Im a terrible greedy heartless self-centered bitch right Because there was and is a big part of me that felt like it was maybe just a polite blow-off & that he wasnt sick in the least. UGH. I hate feeling that way! It makes me feel like Im being needy and clingy and worst of all suspicious none of which I am entitled to in the least. But these are feelings after all and I cant control that.
I also realize that this is someone who is also going through major change and transition in his life and perhaps a bit of depression. He left Afghanistan in January after a lengthy tour his second I believe. Hes living off his savings and hasnt worked since hes been back. He told me that his sleep schedule is all messed up & I know hes been looking for work. Or rather hes been being a lazy fucker as he said and not actively looking for work. The messiness of his apartment suggests that hes been staying in a lot and he told me in February that hes as unfit as hes ever been & doesnt like it. Though he seems to have actually put on a bit of weight between February & April. Soeven if he was bowing out gracefully its possible that its because he was feeling moody & unhappy and it has nothing to do with me.
Yet I had my expectations I even shaved my legs & armpits & neatly trimmed my lady business! sale sexy underwear Ive never been good at resetting my expectations. I like things to go the way that I plan them and man I had some pretty specific and pleasurable plans in my head. Anyway I was disappointed and then dismayed at the feelings that that prompted. Which sucks.
I really like the reverse order that I put the description of my two dates in when writing about them. It was actually pretty helpful in making me feel better by reminding me that I discount sexy underwear
have options flavors choices variety and people who find me interesting and attractive.
Its almost 4:30am. Im a stupid idiot for being up this late! Goodnight!
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